Sometimes I wish I could go back to living in a bubble. A bubble where I can listen to Gene Autry’s “Here Comes Santa Claus” without feeling guilty that I just spent the equivalent of my maid’s monthly salary on a Christmas gift for one person. A gift to replace something that person already has, that works and is fine, with something nicer and newer.
I go back to listening to Gene Autry to look up at my Gardener hauling a bucket of weeds. I will spend the amount he makes in a month on excess baggage charges so I can bring more “stuff” I “need” back to Zambia from home.
This is what is hardest for me living in Africa. The power cuts and water outages are hard, the cultural misunderstandings, the cost of the things that I could buy at home easily for much much less, Thomas saying he misses Yuma and rolling up the windows so my kiddies don’t have to breath in all the smog of the city – those things are hard sometimes. But I find that the thing that drains me is the internal battle of feeling guilty for having what I have, but not wanting to give it all away.
I guess it boils down to gratitude and action. Being grateful and aware of the incredibly blessed, comfortable life I have and putting that action into gratitude. Giving what I can, when I can and trying to just stay positive.
Merry Christmas...sincerely, I don't want to be a kill joy. But Christmas means more to me this year because I don't live in my bubble.
5 comments:
I love you guys.
I can imagine that must be difficult. I felt a little of that just in the two weeks we were there. But I also think it's so great to be aware of those things. It's good to understand how much you have. So many people (myself included sometimes) complain about how rough their life is or how little they have, and yet they don't think about how life is for others in countries like Zambia or Malawi (or even here in places).
"I guess it boils down to gratitude and action. Being grateful and aware of the incredibly blessed, comfortable life I have and putting that action into gratitude. Giving what I can, when I can and trying to just stay positive. "
I think you are right on with this. Thank you for this post. Reading this will help me to do less complaining. *hugs*
When we chatted with Seth the other day he mentioned this was hard, and I can only imagine how hard.
That is really hard. I hate that when I think about stuff like that, my natural inclination is sometimes just to push it out of my mind and not think about it again for a while.
I can't imagine being faced with it daily at this point in my life. It was easier when I was a student (like in DR) and didn't have any real responsibilities or many possessions of my own. Now: I am a full blown consumer and my own kids have boxes of toys and dressers full of clothes.
I guess it's depressing not to offer a solution, but all I can say is that I understand and I think about this a lot. I to think that I do what I can, but there's always more I could do...
I bet it would do us all good to have an experience like this. Just reminds me how lucky I am to live in the promised land -- but even more than that, how God has asked us to give freely and be charitable.
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