Saturday, July 28, 2012

And how are you?

..."fine" I say with tear filled eyes.  But I am not "fine" and this is not "fine". The nurses (sisters) are very kind in their inquires after Seth's well-being.  He is a favorite at the hospital is seems but when they ask me how I am I just want to scream.  Yes, the pendulum of emotions has swung again.  I go from numb, to grateful, to hopeful, to distraught, to sad, to punch-face angry!

I look at my beautiful little boy with huge scars on his perfect head and my little girl with large welts.  Then I watch my husband walk his fingers across his chest like he is playing itsy-bitsy spider to pick up his spaghetti spoon so he can scratch his ear. I am grateful that things are as good as they are, that we are alive, that we will recover but we will never be the same and my heart aches and painful, angry tears burn my eyes.

10 comments:

Matt said...

So many thoughts....however, the over-resounding on is simply that we love you both....

emily a. said...

This breaks my heart and I'm glad you expressed it. You have every right to feel the way you do. We love you all so much and I'm amazed daily at how you are handling all of this- even on your angry days. Love you Caroline.

Ditto Family said...

Caroline, I love you! I wish you could come punch me in the face to relieve a moment of anger. Love YOU!

sixmoores said...

Caroline,

I am a friend of Tom and Annie's from Salem, Oregon. My husband worked with Tom until he retired. We love them! They told us about what is going on with your family and I am so sorry for all of you.

I have been in communication with Tom and Annie about some help I am trying to arrange for you there. I have a good friend from my mission to Canada, Brady Southwick, who hopefully is going to make contact with you today as soon as he flies back into town. He lives there about 15 minutes from the hospital. They are amazing people and are looking forward to helping you.

You are all in our prayers.

Love,

Nancy O. Moore
mnancy1@gmail.com

Marci said...

This made me cry. I love you Caroline and you entitled to feel any emotion you want to feel! Sending you big hugs from Texas :-)!

Hope said...

we love you guys and you are in our prayers Marty talked to the boys at camp last week about the accident and they are praying to.

Amy said...

If only there was a way to adequately say how sorry we are. I, too, and very glad everyone is alive, but it sure sounds like a long and painful process far from home. Sending our prayers and sympathy.

Kara said...

I've always thought that you are pretty great Caroline, but you really are just amazing. Whatever you are feeling is okay and okay to express, because it is genuine. Sending love your way!

Megan Zimmerman said...

To your whole family: I love you!

Mrs. G said...

You have every right to be upset. Still thinking positive, healing thoughts for you guys. Hugs to you all.